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online careers
small engine repair training


Credits

Designer: Wyona
Images: Cyworld | Wyona
Host: blogger | photobucket
Pixels: GG | Happyy-stop
Reference: blogskins



Past

Memories
Rich, rich rich!!
Nobody's child
Whisper of a Rose
Picnic!!
Epik High - [e]
Teeth-Ache!!!
A new start
Bittersweet Romance
Too much to do, so little time


A new start
Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I think it's time for us to open a new slide and begin with an empty one, starts a new one..


11:09 AM |
Bittersweet Romance
Saturday, August 28, 2010

Ever heard of that song? It's the ultimate song of Final Fantasy, at least for me, that and To Zanarkand.. Both are sweet and sad at the same time..

That, just what I feel lately.. Sweet, and sad..
If I may see myself as a thing, I may say that I'm a broken thing.. And in a very bad state.. I wonder why anybody ever wants me again..

But then..
Bast comes.
He come and say, he accept me as the way I am. The broken, ugly, unwanted me.
So I laughed. I mean, who the hell is going to be serious on me, anyway? But I agree. I play with him for a while, I think. For as I thought, he will fail. No body ever wants me as the way I am really are. No one. Not even my so-very-beloved ex whom I was adore so much. Not even my very own Onee-Chan, not even my beloved older sister, to those are the ones I hope will accept me. No. I'm all alone.

And it begins. Slowly, but sure.. I'm not sure how it happens.. He wash away almost all my pain.. He makes me believes, there's still hope out there.. There's still someone who take me as a blessing, not pain.. Still, there's still some bitterness inside of me which I can't just erase. Even if almost all the pain are gone, it's just almost. not ALL.

And the problem came. The possessiveness inside of me begin to shout as I began to love him more and more..
And it came to the point where I feel it's better to breaking up with him than to feel the hurt feeling ever again.
But then, again, he's different.. He patiently (although I know he's damn confused and upset) ask me, what's wrong with me. And I can't tell! What should I tell him? OMG, I'm so possessive, and OMG, I'm jealous of you with .. dunno, air? That doesn't make sense at all! But still.. He ask me to trust him.. At least, try.. He didn't ask me to trust him just now. He can accept that I don't have faith in him, but he ask me to try, at least for my sake, so I won't hurt ever again, because I can only feel agony in love. For now.

Well.. Now I know how it feels to be loved..
君の愛は完璧です。。。


10:57 AM |
Too much to do, so little time
Friday, August 27, 2010

Ouch..
Lately I've been having too many tasks to do, from the important ones like my college, until the least important like watching anime (LOL), I've been almost about to throw it all up because of Dragonica. Well.. Yeah, I'm addicted to this little Online Game. The layout is just so cute, the interface is cool, and the playing is addicting! Crap.. And the leveling is still up in my hold. Means, I've been obsessed to leveling up over and over again.. oh no.. Now where did I put up all my new year's resolution about being more diligent and blah blah blah? Damn.. I've gotta find it now..

And there's still about 20GB of Anime waiting to watched.. LOL.. And still many, many songs which waiting to be listened.. Ouch, My laptop almost became my life.. And of course, Thanks to my beloved friend, now I have my life back, which means walking out every saturday night! Great.. Can it be more awesome?
And don't forget, I still do my part-time job.. Sometimes.. which means I still had to do some job done in my free days from college..

I wonder how can I cope to fulfill all my schedule... Hopefully after all of this done, I've had the skill that all the secretary would love : Time-management!!


9:12 AM |
It's not just about love, isn't it?
Sunday, August 22, 2010

Right. It's not just about love, isn't it?
When girls at age, let's say, 15 until 18.. They fall in love for looks, for face, for maybe many, many things..
But when girls had aged 20 to 23, they had the other criteria for what they looking in boys. Such as.. Maybe, for the pretty girls, it's those who can get them to expensive cafe, to get them fancy jewelry or other things for their present, who can give them a ride in a car..
Wiser and older girls, maybe aged 24 to 26, had to choose their boyfriend wisely, as they not so young anymore. Usually, they realize that their soon-to-be mother in law will not so fancying giving them money, unlike what the mother usually do to pamper their son, and soon trying to see, whether their boyfriend had the abilities to work or not, mostly because they can't stand to imagine if they had to work for their boyfriend. After all, it was male who supposed to stand the family with the material, and female who provide mental secureness and etc etc, right?

Well, for me, I skip my step to the older girl's point of view. Not because I am a materialistic girl who just care for her facial schedule, not that. But alas, I don't want my husband, or even my bf, to lose from me. I am some bull-headed woman, but I trust that someday, somewhere, there will be a person that will make me bow and obey what he says, and I can't do nothing because he's superior than me above all. I trust that, I will not losing, except that it was the way it will do, and it is that I was born under him, but still to be in the same height, that I will surrender and say "I do". I hope.

People do tell, you can never tell the future. It's true. In a side, there's a possibilities of all possibilities to become possible. But there's also some kind of telling named fore-sighting from their traits. If someone had no passion to success, and enjoying living in poverty, you can say there's not much hope in him, right? And then, people who enjoy just to eat at hawker stall, people who doesn't want to earn more, people who enjoy all their time, may seem wise, but it's not wise, at least for me, to live in minority.

Just like all the people say, you can do almost anything without love, but you can do almost nothing without money.. Money can't buy love, but money can buy things that trigger 'love'..

Or maybe like the song sings..
"Sometimes love just ain't enough"


11:27 AM |
Accidentally in Love
Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Have you ever been feel that you aren't supposed to feel in love with someone..
But you are?
Well.. Sometimes love just stuck us at people who we actually don't want to. At least, that happened to me..

But when I think of it.. Maybe, just maybe.. That the one that I didn't expected at all.. Is the one that God have given to me..

I still remember the pain I had to bear when the one I think loved me the most was only a jerk.. But then, without him ruining my life, I would never meet this guy again..
So should I be thanks for him?
Nah. I still feel that it's better for me to never met him at all.

PS : I don't know why lately my blog quality had decreased. Sorry. Will fix it soon.


6:39 AM |
My Laptop, My way
Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Been so (not) busy lately.. This blog kinda lost it uniqueness, sorry.. At least I still try to write here every so often, so this blog won't deteriorate like Baka's blog.. I've been waiting for like forever, and yet the blog is standing still.. Make a move, will ya Baka?

I've been busy with my laptop lately.. Desktop, will you forgive me for being so in love with my new notebook? It's just that.. Sorry to say, but you're not good enough for me now... *Oh crap, what am I saying? I sound like a horrible
otaku!* Well.. This notebook, and my USB modem, have been so loyal and good to me, I have been almost always forgetting the work and ASS-ignment I should be doing now.. oh crap, well I've tried not to be seduced by the passion of internet, but I failed..

Hey.. What am I writing now? =.=
Oh man.. I just write myself a bull****.. congratz..
I better keep on moving, then writing this much of a crap..Sorry to read..


7:42 AM |
The Aria of Bast and Cana
Sunday, August 8, 2010

Bast and Cana were childhood friends in church activities. They had been friend since 10 years old. It was back then when Cana still a little girl and she felt a heart-throbbing feeling inside her heart. Born as a girl, Cana knows that it's love.

Bast were a usual boy, with his own mind flowing over him, and make him almost unconscious in girl's feeling, and somehow also about his feeling too, were always so excited when he met Cana.. To tease her. Well.. Kids do their fun, you can say.

Bast and Cana were such a close friend that time. It was until Cana got to the 7th grade that she had some problem in her school days, that she can't meet Bast as often as she usually do. When she at least can get back to her church activity, Bast had already grown up to 170 cm, it was at that time almost 20 cm taller than her. She was so shocked she just stand there and still when Bast greet her. She was shocked, but also adore his new look. He looks so cool, Cana thinks. But when Bast then goes away, Cana feels a bit lonely, as she usually got teased and joked around by Bast.

Bast, back then, was too shy when he sees Cana. After more then a year, Cana had come at least. He had always feel a little lonely when Cana not around. He love to tease her, even he doesn't knows why, and there's no other girl who's as enjoyable to tease as her. But when he try to greet her, he can't talk so easy. So he decided to left.. which makes Cana feels so lonely.

Since then, Bast aren't as often as before teasing Cana, which makes her asking, what happen to Bast? Even if he's only around to tease her, Cana still feel so Happy, but now that Bast act so cool, she feels so lonely..

And after that.. Cana gotta go into high school, and so do Bast..

When they meet at church, they talked about their chosen school..
Cana wants to go to F high School.. And how happy she is when she heard that Bast also gonna go to there too! Even if it's his 2nd choice, but there's still possibilities that Cana can go to the same school as him.. At last!
But destiny talk the other.. Bast got into C High School, and even Cana had told Bast that he got accepted at F High School, which is better than C High School, Bast doesn't want to go in there.. Which makes Cana sad..

Bast was hoping to going to F High School, as there will be Cana in there. At least, he got some friend that he can enjoy spend his time with, so he thinks. But when he got accepted at C High School, his parents were so excited they paid all the expenses right away. Bast can't do anything since F High School still doesn't broadcasting their results. When Bast knows that F High School accepted him, he ask his parent to take him to school there. But alas, his parent rejected. They say that F High School is too far away, and yet C High School expenses are already paid, and there's no extra expenses to spend to get him to F High School. Bast doesn't know, why he was trying so hard to get there.. All he knows is that he doesn't like his High School that much now, knowing that he almost get to F High School, but failed to enter just because the expenses.

The last time they got into church's camp, Bast are gossiped to had a relationship with Dee, a girl whose 1 year older than him, and so close to him, and goes to the same High School with him. Cana were so shocked, and feels rejected, lonely, and so sad she can't even shed a tear.
When Cana at least, got her gut to ask, Bast only said no, but with a smile. It was so awkward, Cana dare not to ask him anymore, as she was so sure Bast was only teasing her again, and not paying any attention about her feeling.

Bast, at that time, was gossiped with his friend Dee, but he feels nothing towards Dee, as she was none of Bast's taste. But he doesn't try to do anything to clear up those sayings behind, so his friends thinks that that is true, as Dee often seen seeing Bast with a lovey-dovey look.

That was, for Cana, the last that she wants to see Bast's face. She was so disappointed and angry, she got her feeling locked and get her gift from the trip - a dried flower - kept in her locket, and never see it again.






3 Years later...

Cana will going to College!! She was so happy. And she meets a new friend, Sei, at her Catholic activity, which goes to the same school as Bast. When she ask whether he knows Bast or not, Sei said that he's a friend of Bast, and tell her to join the next time Sei going out with his friends, so she can meet Bast, Cana was curious so she said yes.

There, she meet Bast again at last. But what she saw almost makes her cries. There was Bast, smokes, with appearance like a scumbag, and when he sees her, he just say, "hei" and got in his own world, again. Not paying any attention to Cana at all. Hurt inside, Cana tries to talk to other people, also not paying any attention to Bast.

There, she meet Edric, some funny guy who always makes Cana laughs, and honest to his feelings. At least that's what Cana had the impression. Cana fell for him, and get closer to him. From him, he got the information that Bast, whom she knows, were all gone now. Bast had been a jerk now. How disappointed Cana was at that time!

Time passes by, Edric turns out not serious to Cana, and Cana, broken-heartedly cries, and Bast, who knows it, try to makes Cana feels at ease. He thinks, "maybe this time.. I can be her strength, and I won't lose her again.."

But once again, destiny talks the other.
Cana still cannot forget about what kind of guy Bast had been, and decided to move on at least, not think about Bast, and try to find a new love, try to forget that she, once, had the dream about growing old together with Bast..

2 years later..
Cana fell in love with Shawn, a smart-rich guy who Bast can't even compared to, for the outside. And she got so totally in love that she ignored Bast completely. It went out smoothly at last, but it turns out that Shawn, is a pervert maniac who only loves Cana to be her slave, lucky for her she realize it before it's too late, with a heart that still deeply in love, she cuts down her bond with Shawn. Deeply cut, traumatized, Cana became such a lovely girl outside, a totally broken girl inside. She's broken that she tried to suicide, but failed, and nobody knows about it.

It was 6 months after Cana broke up, she read that her ex, Shawn, had Cana's bestfriend as his girlfriend. It brokes Cana's heart completely that she cried for sure. Nobody even Cana know why, but she text-ed Bast, asking him to come.

Bast, seeing her text, hurries to Cana's home, only to find her crying continues. When Cana tell him about her ex, he got so mad he can't say a word. He can't think about someone who can so cold-heartedly using girl as a slave like that, when Cana had loved him like that. At that time, when Cana asked her to be her runaway, Bast said yes.

Turns out, all the bad things about Bast were only in the mouth. He may had smoke, but he now quit. And this time, Bast doesn't want to let Cana goes again from his life. At least, after 10 years of waiting, Cana heard the sweetest word from Bast :



"Will you be my girlfriend?"

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6:12 PM |
Trauma?!
Monday, August 2, 2010


7:56 PM |