Saturday, July 31, 2010Love..
It's a strong word..
You may like someone, but it doesn't mean you love him/her..
You may like, and be his gf/bf.. But still.. Do you really adore him/her?
Will you still love him/her no matter what?
I'm not.
I have my own way of thinking. People may not agree with me, that I know, and I truly understand. But for me, as a person who had taste the bitter taste of poverty, it was really a nightmare to lick it again. I don't want to ride a motorcycle for my whole life.. I can't use cheap soap or shampoo, either. And call me spoiled, but I can't stand the dizziness of using public transportation (in my place, public transportation are HORRIBLE), and I'm not too strong about heat either.
Long story short, I'm weak, especially to penniless condition.
That's why, I'm working really hard to try to find a better living (no, I'm not really WORKing, I'm just trying to say, I'm trying.), and also, I try my best to find some man who have the same point of view with me about this crucial matters.
That's why, I don't want to be with people who just knows how to play a game. I also want a person who I can really depend, or at least, won't depend on me. A mentally-grown up man, at least.
And then, the problem came..
I was.. Usually.. Liked the man first, and try to seduce them, then I got. Voila! That happens every time.
But this time.. I'm confused. Why?
There's this man. Or Boy? who loved me ever since I knew him. He still remembered, every seconds we were talk, every action he done to me, every reaction I give him, every moments we're together.. From the 5th or 6th grade of elementary school! =.= And to make it strange enough, every time he had already forget about me, he meet me in some unusual condition. I don't know what to react. All I know is this man(or boy?) loved me, and still loves me.
What makes me confused, is that he is still a boy. I think he's still not thinking about job, about how to get money, how to get a proper job, what to do, how about the future family, etc. etc. I'm not joking, I'm really are serious if it's about to commit a relationship. I don't want to playing with this kind of relationship, as I don't want to end as a single at 30.. But I'm also think about my future with him. He still have no clue, well he have, but it's not enough, and it seems that he still doesn't trying to get some wages. And.. Hard to say, mean as it seems, he's not from the rich family, which means he can't have a jump start, but a crawl start. Should I chose to love -- some futured guy, or should I be loved.. by some pauper with a chance to be a prince, but with a lot of chance of still be a pauper?
It's a strong word..
You may like someone, but it doesn't mean you love him/her..
You may like, and be his gf/bf.. But still.. Do you really adore him/her?
Will you still love him/her no matter what?
I'm not.
I have my own way of thinking. People may not agree with me, that I know, and I truly understand. But for me, as a person who had taste the bitter taste of poverty, it was really a nightmare to lick it again. I don't want to ride a motorcycle for my whole life.. I can't use cheap soap or shampoo, either. And call me spoiled, but I can't stand the dizziness of using public transportation (in my place, public transportation are HORRIBLE), and I'm not too strong about heat either.
Long story short, I'm weak, especially to penniless condition.
That's why, I'm working really hard to try to find a better living (no, I'm not really WORKing, I'm just trying to say, I'm trying.), and also, I try my best to find some man who have the same point of view with me about this crucial matters.
That's why, I don't want to be with people who just knows how to play a game. I also want a person who I can really depend, or at least, won't depend on me. A mentally-grown up man, at least.
And then, the problem came..
I was.. Usually.. Liked the man first, and try to seduce them, then I got. Voila! That happens every time.
But this time.. I'm confused. Why?
There's this man. Or Boy? who loved me ever since I knew him. He still remembered, every seconds we were talk, every action he done to me, every reaction I give him, every moments we're together.. From the 5th or 6th grade of elementary school! =.= And to make it strange enough, every time he had already forget about me, he meet me in some unusual condition. I don't know what to react. All I know is this man(or boy?) loved me, and still loves me.
What makes me confused, is that he is still a boy. I think he's still not thinking about job, about how to get money, how to get a proper job, what to do, how about the future family, etc. etc. I'm not joking, I'm really are serious if it's about to commit a relationship. I don't want to playing with this kind of relationship, as I don't want to end as a single at 30.. But I'm also think about my future with him. He still have no clue, well he have, but it's not enough, and it seems that he still doesn't trying to get some wages. And.. Hard to say, mean as it seems, he's not from the rich family, which means he can't have a jump start, but a crawl start. Should I chose to love -- some futured guy, or should I be loved.. by some pauper with a chance to be a prince, but with a lot of chance of still be a pauper?
9:46 AM |
Wednesday, July 28, 2010Ootaku?
Otaku is derived from a Japanese term for another's house or family (お宅, otaku) which is also used as an honorific second-person pronoun. The modern slang form, which is distinguished from the older usage by being written only in hiragana (おたく) or katakana (オタク or, less frequently, ヲタク), or rarely in rōmaji, appeared in the 1980s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otaku)
Boku wa Otaku desu ka?
Well I don't really know.. But to compare myself with my friend, while they likes Korean Artist more than anime, and me the vice-versa.. I think I'm a lil' bit of Otaku.. Just a lil bit, ok? Not too much.. I love anime, but not to collecting the model or anything like that. Just like to watch.. And besides, I love Japanese language, and how they can make it sounds so cute... lol..
I know people usually thinks that Otaku is strange, nerd, fat, and.. well.. so many bad other impression. I don't think it's valid in my country. Usually Otaku here maybe a lil freak (me? No! lol), but the impession is still good.. :D There still no Japanese-like Otaku here.. :D
Otaku is derived from a Japanese term for another's house or family (お宅, otaku) which is also used as an honorific second-person pronoun. The modern slang form, which is distinguished from the older usage by being written only in hiragana (おたく) or katakana (オタク or, less frequently, ヲタク), or rarely in rōmaji, appeared in the 1980s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otaku)
Boku wa Otaku desu ka?
Well I don't really know.. But to compare myself with my friend, while they likes Korean Artist more than anime, and me the vice-versa.. I think I'm a lil' bit of Otaku.. Just a lil bit, ok? Not too much.. I love anime, but not to collecting the model or anything like that. Just like to watch.. And besides, I love Japanese language, and how they can make it sounds so cute... lol..
I know people usually thinks that Otaku is strange, nerd, fat, and.. well.. so many bad other impression. I don't think it's valid in my country. Usually Otaku here maybe a lil freak (me? No! lol), but the impession is still good.. :D There still no Japanese-like Otaku here.. :D
8:18 PM |
People do have their darkest side..
From what I've seen.. Almost all were because friends, not parents. Well, except that the parents were unable to make them feel better. No offense, but I myself think that 90% parents can't do that actually, so let them alone for a while. What I'm trying to say here is that it's not who to blame, but what the kids done in their "runaway". Some socialized kids, trying to get in a relationship, skinship, continuing to making out and making love, and in some unfortunate occurence, making children also.. :p
Some not-so-socialite kids, in the other hand, trying to reach the other grasp, like maybe, gaming, idols, comics, anime, (that, in the light level). Heavier than that, children also tends to finds their own happiness in the wrong way, as a way to show their parents that they don't need them anymore (because of neglected feelings that spreading. Once again, parents not to blame!), and having fun in the way that THEY,not the PARENTS want. Some goes to drinks.. Some goes to clubbing.. Some goes to cigarettes.. Some goes to drugs.. And some does it all, includes sex.
What I'm trying to say, not the conclusion and the answer. At least not now. However, I'm an IT student, not psychology student. But still, I will try to find, at least my own answer..
From what I've seen.. Almost all were because friends, not parents. Well, except that the parents were unable to make them feel better. No offense, but I myself think that 90% parents can't do that actually, so let them alone for a while. What I'm trying to say here is that it's not who to blame, but what the kids done in their "runaway". Some socialized kids, trying to get in a relationship, skinship, continuing to making out and making love, and in some unfortunate occurence, making children also.. :p
Some not-so-socialite kids, in the other hand, trying to reach the other grasp, like maybe, gaming, idols, comics, anime, (that, in the light level). Heavier than that, children also tends to finds their own happiness in the wrong way, as a way to show their parents that they don't need them anymore (because of neglected feelings that spreading. Once again, parents not to blame!), and having fun in the way that THEY,not the PARENTS want. Some goes to drinks.. Some goes to clubbing.. Some goes to cigarettes.. Some goes to drugs.. And some does it all, includes sex.
What I'm trying to say, not the conclusion and the answer. At least not now. However, I'm an IT student, not psychology student. But still, I will try to find, at least my own answer..
Labels: thought
7:51 PM |
Lately..
There's been so much activity that makes me keep on forgetting to write in blog.. sorry..
Firstly, there's the anime that I had downloaded, 10 Gb in total.. I think I will become an otaku, sooner or later..
Secondly, there's Esse who had gave birth (again!) to 5 cute little puppies (one of them died the day after.. T_T)
Thirdly, there's the ASS(hole)ignment to do that I had to.. named KP a.k.a Kerja Praktek.. well, I keep on forgetting to do this too, though.. lol..
Fourth, there's also prs, which reminds me of my miscalculation, affecting a whole semester. That means I can't graduate at 8th semester, but 9th.. That's at least! oh well..
Fifth, there's also me making my driving license.. halleluya at least I got it!
And sixth.. There's also my free-lance job.. Busy as hell..
So.. well, yeah.. I think I'm desperately needs some rest and sleep..
There's been so much activity that makes me keep on forgetting to write in blog.. sorry..
Firstly, there's the anime that I had downloaded, 10 Gb in total.. I think I will become an otaku, sooner or later..
Secondly, there's Esse who had gave birth (again!) to 5 cute little puppies (one of them died the day after.. T_T)
Thirdly, there's the ASS(hole)ignment to do that I had to.. named KP a.k.a Kerja Praktek.. well, I keep on forgetting to do this too, though.. lol..
Fourth, there's also prs, which reminds me of my miscalculation, affecting a whole semester. That means I can't graduate at 8th semester, but 9th.. That's at least! oh well..
Fifth, there's also me making my driving license.. halleluya at least I got it!
And sixth.. There's also my free-lance job.. Busy as hell..
So.. well, yeah.. I think I'm desperately needs some rest and sleep..
7:02 AM |
Wednesday, July 21, 2010neouiwihan gil-i hanaissdamyeon
geugeon jigeum balo neo an-eiss-eo
geuleohge deo gyeondyeonael su-issdamyeon
igos-e neoui modeun geol matgyeo bwa
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
cheoncheonhi, deo cheoncheonhi
ne mamsog-e gang-eun heuleugo
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flowes in you
gidalim, geu gidalim
geuttaeneun naega iss-eulkka
neol hyanghae nae mam-eul deonjigo sip-eo
eonjena naega neol neukkil su-issge
geuleohge deo gyeondyeonael su-issdamyeon
igos-e neoui modeun geol matgyeo bwa
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
cheoncheonhi, deo cheoncheonhi
ne mamsog-e gang-eun heuleugo
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
gidalim, geu gidalim
geuttaeneun naega iss-eulkka
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
cheoncheonhi, deo cheoncheonhi
ne mamsog-e gang-eun heuleugo
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
gidalim, geu gidalim
geuttaeneun naega iss-eulkka
River flows in you...
TRANSLATED:
if there’s a road that’s for you
then it is inside of you
if you can endure it
Then leave everything of yours to me
holding you holding you
it’s in you, river flows in you
slowly, slowly, the river in my heart flows
holding you holding you
it’s in you, river flows in you
longing, at the end of that longing, would I be there
I want to throw my heart at you
So that you can always feel it with you
If you can endure it still
Then leave everything of yours to me
geugeon jigeum balo neo an-eiss-eo
geuleohge deo gyeondyeonael su-issdamyeon
igos-e neoui modeun geol matgyeo bwa
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
cheoncheonhi, deo cheoncheonhi
ne mamsog-e gang-eun heuleugo
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flowes in you
gidalim, geu gidalim
geuttaeneun naega iss-eulkka
neol hyanghae nae mam-eul deonjigo sip-eo
eonjena naega neol neukkil su-issge
geuleohge deo gyeondyeonael su-issdamyeon
igos-e neoui modeun geol matgyeo bwa
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
cheoncheonhi, deo cheoncheonhi
ne mamsog-e gang-eun heuleugo
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
gidalim, geu gidalim
geuttaeneun naega iss-eulkka
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
cheoncheonhi, deo cheoncheonhi
ne mamsog-e gang-eun heuleugo
Holding you, holding you
It's in you, river flows in you
gidalim, geu gidalim
geuttaeneun naega iss-eulkka
River flows in you...
TRANSLATED:
if there’s a road that’s for you
then it is inside of you
if you can endure it
Then leave everything of yours to me
holding you holding you
it’s in you, river flows in you
slowly, slowly, the river in my heart flows
holding you holding you
it’s in you, river flows in you
longing, at the end of that longing, would I be there
I want to throw my heart at you
So that you can always feel it with you
If you can endure it still
Then leave everything of yours to me
Labels: song
9:43 PM |
Tuesday, July 20, 20109:34 AM |
Sunday, July 18, 2010Well well, today I just realized I still saving my notes from the photocopy area, don't knowing what to do with it. But I still remember, I save that for future use, I was intending to make some journal of my income and outcome. What a waste of time.. lol..
That, I was realize, was what make me think about this topic. Do we really need what we think we need today? For example, I really need to get a good score when I took my AI Class. I try every chance I can get so I can get a good grade. But then, I got C only. I was disappointed back then. But now? I don't mind it at all. It just, what I have got until now, if it pass, then it is. I'm not complaining, nor think about the grade after a semester or two. And that works for my high school.
It just.. Do we really need to sacrifice things, so that what we think more 'important' can achieved? Do we really need to sacrificing our friend, just so we can get a good grade? Must we befriend only those who smart and diligent? Nobody knows what the future holds, so why with those premonition and all?
My lil sister once stressed out, she wants to be a bitch just so she can have a good grade. I wonder, none of us, neither me or her mom (well, not sure) teach her to have that kind of garbage idea on her head, so where did she get those? I suppose bitches can turn good people into other biatch.. how monstrous.. -.-
All I want to say is, usually, today's treasure is tomorrow's trash. What we think was so precious today, maybe turns to be a stinky, smelly, yucky junk that we have to throw it faraway just so we're not sick. How awful. Think about your life twice, and think about your future. Does future really need GPA? Does your job ask you "Are you the smartest student on earth?" I don't think so. Maybe, just maybe, they'll ask you if they're not confident enough in you. It's not the matter of GPA, it's the matter of your smartness? Maybe?
That, I was realize, was what make me think about this topic. Do we really need what we think we need today? For example, I really need to get a good score when I took my AI Class. I try every chance I can get so I can get a good grade. But then, I got C only. I was disappointed back then. But now? I don't mind it at all. It just, what I have got until now, if it pass, then it is. I'm not complaining, nor think about the grade after a semester or two. And that works for my high school.
It just.. Do we really need to sacrifice things, so that what we think more 'important' can achieved? Do we really need to sacrificing our friend, just so we can get a good grade? Must we befriend only those who smart and diligent? Nobody knows what the future holds, so why with those premonition and all?
My lil sister once stressed out, she wants to be a bitch just so she can have a good grade. I wonder, none of us, neither me or her mom (well, not sure) teach her to have that kind of garbage idea on her head, so where did she get those? I suppose bitches can turn good people into other biatch.. how monstrous.. -.-
All I want to say is, usually, today's treasure is tomorrow's trash. What we think was so precious today, maybe turns to be a stinky, smelly, yucky junk that we have to throw it faraway just so we're not sick. How awful. Think about your life twice, and think about your future. Does future really need GPA? Does your job ask you "Are you the smartest student on earth?" I don't think so. Maybe, just maybe, they'll ask you if they're not confident enough in you. It's not the matter of GPA, it's the matter of your smartness? Maybe?
12:33 AM |
Wednesday, July 14, 2010お姉ちゃん は 愚かしい
BAKAAA!!!!!!
There, there.. I've said it..
BAKAAA!!!!!!
There, there.. I've said it..
3:14 AM |
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
And it turns to be a great movie about life. It's simple, but it has it own value, which I think is the most important. Many movies now have no meaning. They just about a girl, a boy, lovey dovey, etc. etc., which all have the same point and no other meanings (Oops, sorry for drama lover..)
So long story short, this doggy poo story is about one baby-like newborn(?) doggy poo who was once excited and excited about the world, when because of some bird and lump of soil, think that he had no use for the world. That was worsened by a hen who says that he's not good enough for her kids (Of course you moron hen, what would you expect?)
Things got better when doggy poo talks to Leaf, who says that everybody in this world have their own purpose, so Doggy Poo mustn't be sad, and how his life still better than the leaf, because leaf has to follow where the wind blows while Doggy Poo doesn't.
Finally, it's snowing. And Doggy Poo had almost given up, when at that very moment, Doggy Poo sees something appear just before him.
What was that? And how's the story ends?
It's a spoiler if I tell you, lol.. But let me give you some hint : The story is happy-ending!
I give this movie a 5★ rating, I really enjoy this movie so much. The genre is all audience, the animations are just sooooooooooooooooo cute, and overall the story is good. Satisfying!
1:07 PM |
Yiruma!!!
I've fall in love with this pianist! No, not because his cute face (I admit he rather cute though, lol) and not because he's the one who plays bella's lullaby in twilight (Sorry to ruin your imagination, girls, but Robert "Edward Cullen" Pattinson isn't the one who create that awesome song. Yiruma did. lol.
이루마
It's all begin, thanks to my new laptop which has the OS Windows 7 (Yippe for that!), and there's Bob Acri's song "Sleep Away" which I love so much, so I begin to search for Bob Acri. Seems like he's a new age pianist, and so I search. Luckily, I found the name Yiruma. Then I got curious, as the name's sounds unique. And there, we have it. New fans of Yiruma! Viva la Yiruma!! ♥♥♥♥
I've fall in love with this pianist! No, not because his cute face (I admit he rather cute though, lol) and not because he's the one who plays bella's lullaby in twilight (Sorry to ruin your imagination, girls, but Robert "Edward Cullen" Pattinson isn't the one who create that awesome song. Yiruma did. lol.
이루마
It's all begin, thanks to my new laptop which has the OS Windows 7 (Yippe for that!), and there's Bob Acri's song "Sleep Away" which I love so much, so I begin to search for Bob Acri. Seems like he's a new age pianist, and so I search. Luckily, I found the name Yiruma. Then I got curious, as the name's sounds unique. And there, we have it. New fans of Yiruma! Viva la Yiruma!! ♥♥♥♥
7:45 AM |
Monday, July 12, 2010Well.. We meet again, don't we? It seems I got some mental-illness.. I am possessive.. and as now, my possessiveness getting worse. I even keep tracking my friend. One time, he asked me, "Why me? You know how I was so careless, how I was so clueless about girl's feeling, and still among other people, why it have to be me? Can't you be less possessive?"
That time, I realized, my possessiveness is getting unhealthy. So that's why, now I'm trying to heal myself. One way to do it is, deactivating my facebook account since even if I don't want to see his profile, or if I don't want to see my facebook, in the end I keep opening it. And it will makes my heart hurts. No more. And keeping my hands, for sanity's sake, from texting him.
I hope this will work. I don't want to lose a friend, and I don't want to end up like a maniac, stalking and following every single friend she had.
That time, I realized, my possessiveness is getting unhealthy. So that's why, now I'm trying to heal myself. One way to do it is, deactivating my facebook account since even if I don't want to see his profile, or if I don't want to see my facebook, in the end I keep opening it. And it will makes my heart hurts. No more. And keeping my hands, for sanity's sake, from texting him.
I hope this will work. I don't want to lose a friend, and I don't want to end up like a maniac, stalking and following every single friend she had.
Labels: story
4:34 AM |
Monday, July 5, 2010Well yeah. Honestly speaking, I'm a little bored of writing in FAQ style. lol. Maybe I'm just not diligent enough to write a proper blog? Maybe. I don't know either.
However, I'm still living my life to the fullest. Thanks. And this story is kinda miraculous, IMHO (In my honest opinion *note that usually IMHO is in my humble opinion) lol.lol.
Well, so the story is just as simple as this. I'm not really sure whether I'm going to church or not that day. I was already late, it's 6.45 pm and the last mass that I know started at 6.30. Great. But then, don't know why, I called my friend, ellen. And there, she said there's a mass at 7 o'clock. Awesome. And there, I'm steering my car to the church, and at last I'm going to mass.
Simple. But then, I believe it was not a mere, simple coincidence that I can go to the mass. If only I didn't call ellen, if only I didn't want to check my credit, etc etc.. There's so many possibilities, and still, I've got to the mass. For me, it seems so miraculous, with the odds are 1:1 million.
Proves that God is Great.
However, I'm still living my life to the fullest. Thanks. And this story is kinda miraculous, IMHO (In my honest opinion *note that usually IMHO is in my humble opinion) lol.lol.
Well, so the story is just as simple as this. I'm not really sure whether I'm going to church or not that day. I was already late, it's 6.45 pm and the last mass that I know started at 6.30. Great. But then, don't know why, I called my friend, ellen. And there, she said there's a mass at 7 o'clock. Awesome. And there, I'm steering my car to the church, and at last I'm going to mass.
Simple. But then, I believe it was not a mere, simple coincidence that I can go to the mass. If only I didn't call ellen, if only I didn't want to check my credit, etc etc.. There's so many possibilities, and still, I've got to the mass. For me, it seems so miraculous, with the odds are 1:1 million.
Proves that God is Great.
6:05 PM |
